ByFrancesca

Before anything else, thank you for all the kind messages about my first post. It’s a bit daunting putting your thoughts out into the world, but the encouragement has genuinely meant so much.

On my walk home today, a memory popped up on my phone and reminded me, my best friend and I have hit a milestone – twenty years of friendship. It is hard to put into words the depth and meaning of our friendship, but today’s reflection is dedicated to us.

2020

A year that needs no introduction.
A year that will always carry its own story for everyone.

The year started, I was at a music festival with my closest friends, in the middle of a classic Kiwi summer. There was a moment when the sun was setting, it was golden hour, Halsey was on stage (random artist, I know) and my best friend and I were half hugging, half dancing, not sober, loudly and may have been belligerently expressing our love for one another. If I ever had to explain love or connection or friendship, it would be that moment. A single breath in time that was so perfect. But even then, something was looming so closely to us.

The big C.
And it was not Covid.
It was change.

Not the First Goodbye

My best friend for twenty years. We somehow started as an enemies to friends situation, though I genuinely cannot recall the enemy part. Apparently, I was mean to her at first, sorry! I choose to believe that’s a lie. Either way, we eventually realised that we actually got along, and from there we were inseparable.

When I moved to Whanganui at eleven, it was the first time I remember feeling real heartbreak. No more turning up at her house, no more weekend sleepovers, no more spending every minute together. It was a big shift, but we figured it out. I never thought I would say this but thank God for Facebook. Even through high school and living in different places, we stayed close.

Choosing a Direction

Then came the biggest decision in a teenager’s life. What do I want to do after school?

To me university was always the answer, but where I wanted to go was easily influenced by one thing or should I say person. I chose Auckland for university because that was where my best friend was going. I can admit I blindly followed. A great decision. Those years from 2016 to 2020 were some of the best. We did halls together, flatted together, and did all the normal, chaotic, messy things you would expect in your late teens and early twenties. So many laughs, so many tears, and so many stories that will remain between us.

Then in 2020 she moved to Melbourne. The borders closed not long after and that familiar feeling came back. Not sadness exactly, just the ache of losing the everyday moments with someone who had always been part of them.

And still through all the change, I am genuinely proud of everything she has done. She has built a career, travelled, taken chances, pushed herself, found love, moved to the other side of the world. She’s kind without thinking about it, effortlessly cool, smart, loyal, principled, determined and beautiful in every sense of the word.

This is not a sad story though. We have a whole lifetime to make more memories. I’m convinced we’ll end up as neighbours in the same retirement village, still catching up, still laughing about the music festival, how Halsey is the inadvertently the soundtrack to our friendship, and no doubt rehashing the same stories we have been for the past 50 years.

To have a friend like mine is a privilege. Love you, Vicky.

– Francesca xx